I couldn’t believe my luck. Three greens in a row! I sped down the road humming a tune I’d remembered from my youth. A light breeze from the open window sent my hair streaming back in gentle waves. I clicked the knob on the radio, and wouldn’t you know it - that same song! What a day I thought, shaking my head and grinning. Sometimes things just line up, don’t they?
I pulled into the small plaza in front of the shops in the center of town, and only had to look around for a second before I spotted it - the perfect parking space. It was the one right up front. In fact, it was directly in front of the hardware store I was headed to. I pulled the car to a halt and switched off the engine just as the last notes of that old tune had begun to fade.
As I strolled up to the door, it opened. An old man in a suit held it open, and even tipped his hat! I laughed at the absurdity and he looked at me funny. Could I have explained it all to him? Well, I made a half-apologetic gesture and turned to look around the shop but - and you’ll never believe this - but the thing I’d been looking for, was right there in front of me. They were all stacked up in a neat pyramid that reminded me of a Christmas tree. Little boxes containing brand new brass doorknobs. How the hell could that be, I marveled. Who’d put such a basic piece of hardware on display as if it were some special luxury, some impulse purchase that a child might tug at his mother’s sleeve to beg for. Who’d be excited about doorknobs? Well, I supposed that I was.
The counter was nearby and I picked up the top knob and tossed it in the air a few times as I waltzed over. The cashier, quite an attractive redhead, had just finished ringing up the last customer in line. He carried away his paper bag and I set the little box on the glass.
She smiled as her fingers danced across the register keys with an effortless grace. Even that simple motion seemed choreographed, as if she’d rehearsed this moment. The price rolled up one number at a time on the register’s display: seven dollars and seventy-seven cents. A hollow laugh escaped my throat before I could catch it. I withdrew my wallet, which contained exactly seven dollar bills. I shook my head a little, and set the paper down gently, as if it might crumble to dust. I reached in my pocket and pulled out all the loose change. Sifted in my palm, I hesitated before calculating, and you’ll never believe exactly how much was there. I felt cold and numb.
I tipped the coins onto the counter and walked away clutching the small box. The lady called after me, “Have a nice day!” and I guess I was pretty rude to just leave without acknowledging her but I just felt shaken, you know? So I went to leave as another man held the door open for me. I didn’t even look up. It almost didn’t register.
The parking lot stretched before me, a canvas of painted lines and scattered vehicles, all arranged in a pattern that now seemed deliberate. All the other cars were muted shades of blue and grey and black. My car was exactly where I’d left it, of course, and its bright red paint caught the sunlight at just the right angle to make it gleam.
My key slid smoothly into the lock. I eased into the driver’s seat, and rested my hands on the wheel. Hunched over like that, I took a few short, shallow breaths. I looked at the radio and decided I didn’t want to know what was playing, so I switched it off before starting the car.
On the drive home, every light was green again. At intersections, other drivers waved me by. In retrospect, this all sounds ridiculous, but at the time I was completely unnerved. It was like dissociation, that’s the term they used afterward. I got pretty reckless, going right through stop signs at full speed.
Finally, I careened into my driveway in a cold sweat, screeching to a halt perfectly in my garage. I let out another hiccup of a laugh and stumbled out of the car, not even bothering to close the door behind me. I went up the steps and leaned on my front door to catch my breath and try to collect myself. Just then, and you really won’t believe this, but the whole damn door came off its hinges. I fell forward, hitting my elbow hard on the jamb. I tumbled over sideways and my head thudded against the cold tile. It hurt, but I felt such a sense of relief that I couldn’t stop laughing until there were tears in my eyes.